#anyway when i make art of this au expect me to be even more unhinged this game's taken over

[antispopausandstuff]

mouthwashing au cuz im unhinged

.

Curly - Scorpia & Adora ( role changes depending on scene )

J_mmy - C_tra

Anya - Adora ( i'm sorry )

Swansea - Hordak

Daisuke - Kyle ( i'm sorry )

Pollee - Swift Wind // Swiftee ( you scare me, but also slay )

sorry to myself that i will eventually draw this.

[takaraphoenix]

Shadow and Bone: Season 2 Darklina Review

Okay, one more SaB season 2 review, this one very specifically only about Darklina. Felt wrong to put it into the main review because it would have taken like two third of the review probably.

I’ve never made a ship-specific review for a show before, but I have so many thoughts about them after this season, so here we go.

This ship just makes me feel unhinged to a degree I am not used to? I honestly think I usually feel pretty... normal... about my ships? Even when I love them a lot and they evoke strong feelings in me, but something about Darklina is incomprehensible to me.

Part of it, clearly, is the incredible amount of chemistry between their actors. I mean, that’s just off the charts, the eye-fuckery between them in delicious, they put so much passion into their scenes, it’s amazing. Not just their romantic scenes in season 1, but also their scenes in season 2. Even their enemy scenes are filled to the brim with so much raw passion.

But it’s also the writing. Which I find confusing because I’ve heard it, repeatedly, that the author apparently doesn’t even... like... Aleksander...? Or the ship? And I’m... Look, there is the very simple nature of hero/villain ships in that they will always happen on account of people wanting to ship heroes and villains, regardless of how much you want to discourage them.

But the writing on this doesn’t discourage it, it encourages it to levels that I’ve rarely seen. I mean, they crammed legitimate soulmate tropes into this show. Things happened these season that I have used in fanfiction as “soulmate AU” plotlines.They had shared dreams. Not even just shared dreams, but they could talk to each other in these shared dream spaces.

The whole “two sides of the same coin” and “the light and the darkness” and the sun and moon symbolism is the obvious one, it’s wildly beloved, we’ve seen it in season 1 already. It’s catnip for villain/hero ships.

But now they added literal soulmate AU tropes into the mix and I’m not supposed to be madly deeply into this...? I don’t really know how that’s thought through.

Alina’s wanted poster was actual fanart of Darklina. She was wanted for fanfiction plot. I would actually like to read that alternate timeline she was wanted for. That was a great pitch. I’ve seen someone say that was supposed to mock Darklina shippers? I’m sorry? There was art of my ship in canon and the entire country thought they were some badass power couple why was I supposed to feel mocked by that? That evoked a feeling of validation and satisfaction in me...?

I’ll be honest, I was very afraid of season 2 for a multitude of reasons and one of them was Darklina. I loved them in season 1, when they actually got together, but knowing the writer doesn’t like the ship, knowing they wanted to actively discourage shippers, and knowing what other shows/movies like to do when a hero and villain fully find themselves on opposing sides, I really dreaded where season 2 would find Aleksander and Alina.

Part of me feared that they’d make Alina the doe-eyed hero; a very common trope, especially when there are canonical feelings - of any variety - between the hero and the villain is that the hero very desperately and naively tries to reason with the villain and tries to redeem them. And, let’s be real, it would not have been unreasonable to suspect so because with literally everybody else Alina displays a disturbing amount of naivety and forgiveness. Every single person who has backstabbed, betrayed and manipulated her, she has forgiven and let close again without any hesitation.

Anyway, that’s just a dynamic I greatly dislike, it’s not my cup of tea. So I was very pleasantly surprised by the way it went - for one, by just how completely Alina turned against Aleksander, it seemed very extreme especially considering her over-eagerness to forgive virtually everyone else, but also because I really enjoyed it. I didn’t expect that. I mean, I ship them, why would I enjoy them opposing each other this much?

Again, the incredible chemistry between their actors really played into it. Every confrontation between them was so charged it was so intense to watch. There was something so very overwhelming about Jessie and how... powerful she was, when she held her head high against Aleksander. True power couple vibes.

Baghra was also a big part of delivering the ship this season, making Alina confront just how deep the bond between them runs? It just seems like such a choice to put his mom on her side and to have his mom make Alina consider this deep soul connection that she shares with Aleksander. Once again, you write it like that and I’m not supposed to sell my soul to this ship, how?

It was also incredible to me just how much the writers made Mal look like a rebound. Going into this season, I was aware that book canon dictates Mal and Alina would become a couple. But I kind of expected there to be... a build up...? I was bracing myself for them to spend season 2 building up a romance, but they just right away started with them making out. I’m sorry, how can I take this serious as a relationship, she’s been with Aleksander like, what, a week ago? And now she’s making out with Mal?

And the first time she uses the term “love” to describe what’s going on between her and Mal isn’t when she’s with Mal, it’s when she’s with Aleksander, in the dreamspace. And I’m not supposed to take that as her trying to make him jealous?

All I could see was a cheap rebound and I honestly felt bad for the guy. She’s literally standing in a shared mindspace with the man she has a deep soul-connection to, teasing him and using Mal to make him jealous. Unhinged behavior. Excellent. I love it.

Even the corruption arc for Alina!! Because one of the things that get me about Darklina is that I really, truly, genuinely under no circumstances would want a redemption arc for Aleksander - and here I’m cutting a rant that is going to be its own plot probably - I would much rather have a corruption arc for Alina.

Sure, Aleksander died. And I absolutely could have done without that. But... his last act before dying was trying to save her life and that was. Damn. That hit me hard. And then he still died by her hand. And that also hit me hard. But I even kind of liked that? In a poetic sense?

And then the corruption fully kicked in at the end, Alina wields shadows and smiles. Unclear if she smiles because she enjoyed using shadows, or because she enjoyed killing, or because she enjoyed the powers. Maybe all three.

Either way, Baghra talked so much about Morozovas and resurrection and now Alina has these powers and seems to like them and it seems reasonable to assume Alina could or might resurrect Aleksander with them.

Whether or not she does that though, once again I ask, how do you give her his powers, how do you keep condemning him for killing people and then you give her his powers and you make her smile after using these powers to kill someone - and you still don’t want me to ship this? Really?

This ship is so... poetic and intense and it makes me feel so much and I truly can’t comprehend that the writers actively want viewers not to feel that way about this ship because damn, they’re really bad as writers if this is them writing with the intention of “this ship bad :/ these two Not Good Romantic Partners :/”. You can’t pack a dynamic full with so much symbolism, tension and so many romantic tropes and expect people to not be into it.

[ethepearl]

That stupid traced art thing is apparently stirring up drama again, and I hadn't told people to knock it off. Unlike most people, I actually discourage harassment even towards those who harass me. Shocking, right? But if you knew me, you would have known that. Anyway, I honestly would have reblogged your au versions (because I'm legit more than fine with HCs and AUs and stuff, it doesn't bother me). The only problem was that yeah, you did trace. I don't use bases, I draw everything myself. There's countless videos I've posted of myself drawing start to end. I'm sorry to see people are being shitty to you, I don't condone that /serious. But...yeah, you did trace my art. I don't use bases so the excuse of just using the base is...yeaaaahhh. anyway, I'd appreciate if you at the very least, would just add to the description that you did trace the art and then drew new clothes over it (or whatever did it, I honestly don't pay attention. I only found out this morning that people are apparently still harassing you over it which is not okay).

Also gonna make one this clear: my characters are supposed to be evil. They are supposed to be uncomfortable. You should find them disturbing cuz I sure as hell know I do.

Anyway. I'm gonna block you again because I don't have time for arguing or drama or anything. But if people keep harassing you or whatever because of me, just tell them to knock it off and that I ain't amused by that behavior. Sorry you've had to deal with some unhinged people /gen.

Ight. Have a good life dude /gen. I gotta get back to writing my book. I left creepypasta anyway lol, I'm a published author now so I really do not have time for drama. It just pisses me off when I find out my fans are harassing people, cuz I don't condone that shit /serious.

Peace ✌️

Did not expect this when i woke up this morning but anyways

Sanity is probably not gonna see this considering the fact that they have reblocked me, but i did mention that i traced /lh :]

I appreciate that you took the time outta your day to even address this, 🙏🏾

Just a question, even tho you mentioned you were gonna block me again!

How did you find out about me (& my friend) getting harassed? /gen

Also congrats on becoming a publish author

[judejynerso]

Geralt x Jaskier ficrecs

MY FAVORITES

Title: Woodash and iron and leather Rating: E Word Count: 9,874 Summary: Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear.

Title:  With a Conquering Air Rating: E Word Count: 27,880 Summary: From the kinkmeme: AU Warlord!Geralt receives Tribute!Jaskier as a sacrifice to appease him in every way possible. Jaskier has no choice on the matter and he’s fully aware of the awful rumours that have spread about Geralt and his ruthless conquests. (But we all know those aren’t legit.) A classic angst with a happy ending please! A dash of smut to heal those scars and a sprinkle of new found love!Jaskier arrives at Kaer Morhen knowing his family gave him up without a second thought, and absolutely sure that the dreaded Warlord of the North will value him even less than his own blood did. But the White Wolf and his pack are not what Jaskier expected...and if he's unreasonably lucky, Kaer Morhen might become far more of a home than Lettenhove ever was.

Title: home is nowhere, therefore you Rating: E Word Count: 18,134 Summary:  "Right, well," Jaskier says, when he halts before Geralt. Up close, he looks much more nervous. There is sweat on his brow and his collar is damp with it, and his teeth keep catching on his lower lip. "True love's kiss. There's—ah—there's nothing to it." And he bends, the utter imbecile, and kisses Geralt full on the mouth.  

Title:  The Witcher Wolf Rating: T Word Count: 11,448 Summary: It’s been two weeks since Geralt shouted Jaskier away from him on that mountain and Jaskier has been handling it like a champ by forlornly wandering alone in the wilderness with his lute. When he (literally) stumbles across an injured white wolf he decides to take a chance and see if he can help it, appreciating the irony of the situation but not quite realizing why it is that the wolf’s golden eyes look exactly like his Witcher’s...Inspired by @kayivy's lovely art on tumblr.

Title:  A Dandelion By Any Other Name   Rating: G Word Count: 3,745 Summary: Jaskier is throwing up flowers and refuses to tell Geralt who has afflicted him so. As Geralt grapples with Jaskier's impending death, he comes to terms with a few things himself.//“Who’s the unlucky woman?” Geralt asks, stepping into the firelight. Jaskier starts, dandelions spilling from his hands. He hastily brushes them away. “Gods, Geralt, must you always sneak up on me? This is why you have an image problem, you know. Don’t get me wrong, the whole tall, dark, and murderous vibe is fantastic -- really brings out the color of your eyes -- but the skulking tips you firmly into the realm of, well, somewhat unhinged.” Geralt only glares at Jaskier, waiting for him to tire himself out, and sets about roasting the fowl.“Anyway, killing my beloved won’t cure me,” Jaskier continues blithely, “so don’t even think about it. Not all problems can be solved by whacking away at them with those oversized butter knives you carry around.” He settles cross-legged next to the fire with his lute balanced across his knees and strums a few chords.

Title:  Weak, My Love, and I Am Wanting Rating: T Word Count: 2,443 Summary: Jaskier has written a lot of ballads about some woman who has stolen his heart. The thing is, he's been on the road with Geralt for the past month. He hasn't had any time to court a woman, much less have his heart broken by her. So who is this woman? The answer may shock you.//“There’s no lady,” Geralt says.Jaskier trails off. “Well, of course not,” he says instead. “I imagine a woman would take grave offense to the frequency with which we give our patronage to brothels, not to mention your unseemly habit of bathing in monster blood and other revolting gunk.” He wrinkles his nose. “Perhaps I should write an ode to your masterful powers of observation next.”“But you were talking about a woman tonight,” Geralt continues, ignoring Jaskier entirely.

Title: The Sweetest Poison Rating: M Word Count: 5,630 Summary: “And what do you want in return?  Your freedom? Your safety?”Jaskier didn’t flinch from her scorn and Geralt could see his knuckles go white with the force of his grip around the small vial.  “Save him.”The mage stared at him for a beat before letting out a burst of laughter that echoed off the wall like the flutter of vultures wings.  “All this trouble for the Witcher?” she asked incredulously, “Tell me, boy, do you really think he would do the same for you? That he cares at all what happens to the bard who follows after him like a lost puppy?”  She stepped forward, confident as a soldier preparing his death blow. “Oh, I know who you are, bard. I watched you trailing after the Witcher, eager for every scrap of affection or interest he’ll toss your way. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”Jaskier was breathing heavily now, jaw clenched tight enough that Geralt could see the muscles fluttering with effort.“Were you hoping this ill-conceived rescue mission would be enough to make him finally notice you?” she murmured with a mocking smile, “Poor little bard--always singing of love but never truly experiencing it.”

Title: live to tell Rating: E Word Count: 4,320 Summary: After what'd happened the first time Jaskier had dragged Geralt to some kind of royal ball as his bodyguard, Geralt really should’ve known better than to agree to do it a second time.

Title: unexpected outcomes; Rating: E Word Count: 3,225 Summary: "Get up here," he said like it was no big deal. Jaskier opened his mouth, closed it. "What?" he said eventually."You're obviously not going to be able to sleep down there," Geralt said. "The bed is big enough for two."/Geralt and Jaskier share a bed. Chaos ensues.

Title:  A Blessing, A Curse Rating: E Word Count: 12,672 Summary: "For a while, Jaskier doesn’t know he’s cursed. It feels like free will, going back down that mountain, just as dangerous down as the way up, and alone this time, too. The descent is fast, maybe even reckless, but Jaskier’s feeling numb and out-of-sorts anyways, Geralt’s words simmering in his mind, and at the time it doesn’t feel like he’s being pulled on by anything but his own desire to get away."Based off a post that Geralt's words on the mountain are granted by the djinn.

ART IS BY DARIA

[ditttiii]

Brothers Conflict || 01.

Thrust into an already established family, you struggle to find your footing while dodging the advances of seven, incredibly good looking stepbrothers.

Your father marrying, and you suddenly having to live under the same roof with seven step brothers was a royal mess or so you had thought, Because them falling in love with you was so much worse. Or was it?

◈ Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humour, Smut and maybe a little angst. (PG-18) (step brother AU) (They are all adopted, I do NOT support incest, this work is inspired by the popular anime/manga Brothers Conflict)

◈ Pairings: OT7 x Reader (final pairing: will be decided by readers, could also be ot7) (reverse harem)

◈ CHAPTER ONE

WC: 2585

Warnings: Curse Words (sfw) 

Masterlist (all available chapter links are here)

Taglist

Your eyes take in the humongous structure in front of you, and you try your best to not look too awestruck. You aren't sure how well that works out, considering you can hear your best friend muffling her laugh beside you, but you don't bother to turn and check.

'Pretty sure this isn't the last time this is going to happen either.' You think, as you bite your lower lip and wipe your sweaty hands over the denim of your jeans.  

"Girl, you scored a jackpot." Sunmi teases, her angelic yet somehow demonic at the same time, giggle following close after. 

You, in response side eye her and choose not to reply. What would you even say? Depending on who answers, the reply would differ anyways. 

Though you still aren't sure what your answer would be.

Till a week ago you were just a 20-year-old university student, who while technically was said to be living with her father, at the end of the day virtually lived alone. 

Your father is a famous adventurer. You don't know what that term entails precisely, but too scared of the possible connotations that it might bring forth, you avoid letting your curiosity run too deep. 

You think some part of it involves climbing and hiking mountains though. 

Has to be.

"Are we seriously going to stand here like a bunch of creepy fangirls all day? Woman, that is your home now. Move it before I do it for you!" Sunmi grumbles before she locks her arm with yours and then proceeds to forcibly, drag you across the driveway.

"Wait! Sun stop! Ohmygod, Will you stop you crazy banshee?" 

Sunmi, in all her eccentric glory, does not. Instead, she turns, gives you a non-pulsed look and then continues to drag you over against your will, her silky,  long, black hair billowing behind her like a cape and hitting you in the face. 

Of course. 

You try to dig the heels of your converse into the pavement below, but it's smooth and cemented, and you almost trip and break your jaw, before you decide that it is simply not worth it and allow her to drag you against your will. 

"This is an insanely long driveway, for fucks' sake, why would anyone need such a long driveway anyway?" 

You let out a snort when you hear her say that and let your eyes take in the view as you reply, "It's a rich people thing, you peasant."

The answering elbow that digs deep into your ribs is totally worth it, you decide.  

The cool breeze feels heavenly, and you sigh as you feel it between your strands and over your heated scalp. The area that surrounds the large sprawling five-storey mansion in front of you is lined with trees. Tall hills coloured green by vegetation, with their tips shrouded between clouds, form the backdrop. 

There is also a fancy, intricate water fountain that you think is made of white marble? Or some sort of white stone maybe? In the middle of the driveway. 

‘Expensive,’ You decide and glance around.

The driveway itself spreads all across the front of the mansion, forking and getting divided into two separate pathways a little further away from the building. Between the divided paths is where the fountain is, it's base surrounded by a kaleidoscope of pretty, bright flowers.

At the call of a bird, your gaze snaps up, and you see as a couple of graceful, little, birds fly over and pass you by. Their chirping fills the quietness of the atmosphere, with a pleasant, dulcet ring. 

If nothing else, at least the place is beautiful. 

You stop when Sunmi rings the doorbell and scoot a few inches behind her. 

'I am not trying to hide, I'm just strategically camouflaging.' You think to yourself, but you know you're lying.

Sunmi apparently does too, as no sooner had you scooted back, that she yanks you ahead of her. You wince when you feel your muscles protest, and aim a glare at her. 

"I hope you realise that if you dislocate my shoulder, you will have to assist me until it heals back." 

Sunmi gives you a look before she quips back, "Why would I? I hope you realise that you now have seven ridiculously good looking brothers to take care of you instead." 

At your disgusted expression, she wiggles her eyebrows and of course because the world is never at your side you hear someone clear their throat behind you. 

A part of you dies inside when you realise that someone probably overheard what your stupid, loudmouth of a best friend had just said. 

Add a mental note to punch Sunmi at the earliest. 

You are snapped back out of your thoughts when you feel her pinch your stomach and you yelp as you twist back to face the door, only to stop dead in your tracks. 

There holding the door open and standing at the threshold looking like a Greek god, was Kim Seokjin, who if you remember your information right was the oldest brother. Now your stepbrother. 

He smiles when he sees your startled expression and bows. 

"Ah, yes we have been waiting for you Y/N. I am Seokjin, but you can just call me Jin-oppa if you'd prefer that." 

Startled, your face breaks out into colour when you hear that, and your voice comes out broken as you say, "O-op-Oppa?"

You don't know if he doesn't hear you or if he's just ignoring you, but the next second he's bowing and introducing himself to your best friend. Sunmi, of course, preens under the attention as she does the same and somewhere in the back of your mind, you snort at how much of an attention whore your best friend is. 

Once they are both done, he turns to you and his smile widens as he holds the door open, as if indicating for you to move in. Your eyes fall to his smile and thus to his lips, and all you can think about is how his lips are better than yours.

‘Why does he need such full lips anyway?’ You think jealous, and more than a little self conscious.

Sunmi, however, takes the hint and tugs on your hand again, stepping in first. 

You trail a few inches behind her taking in the interior of the house, only to jump when you feel someones’ hand at the back of your waist. 

You spin on your heels and pause as you realise that you are now an inch, away from Seokjins very wide, very built chest. The smooth, pale skin of his torso, glimpses back at you from in between the deep V-neck of his button-down shirt, and you feel a blush rising from deep above your own chest, as you realise the close proximity. 

The feel of his hand that is still, on your waist doesn't help either. 

However, before you can ponder on too much, over the utter perfection that are your eldest step brothers shoulders, and then promptly be horrified at that following train of thought, you are walking again. 

Sunmi apparently had not caught onto your little pause, as she continues to tug you across the room.  

Stumbling, you try not to trip face-first onto the floor. Your eyes widen, and your face burns when you feel the hand that was till now placed lightly over your waist, grip your side, before twisting you forward and then moving away. 

A second later, your brother lightly brushes your shoulder with his as he moves forward and directs you and Sunmi to where everyone else is apparently waiting for you. 

You blink as you try to wrap your head around what had just transpired.

You think he was just trying to help you but is gripping your stepsister's waist seconds after meeting her for the first time an acceptable form of action?  

Out of your depth, and baffled at his actions, you just follow along behind Sunmi, as you try to get your thoughts straight and your raging blush under control. 

Deep breaths Y/N, in and out, there we go.  

Once your cheeks no longer feel like they are trying to light themselves on fire, you raise your head and glance around. 

The interior was just as grand as you had expected it to be. The walls tall and glassed, let in the sunshine from outside and created a bright, warm ambience. There were potted plants, placed around every few steps, and you wonder if they are real or fake. There's an undertone fragrance of jasmine in the air that makes you think that maybe the plants are real. 

The ceiling is high and most of the interior white, or metallic. Lights hung from the ceiling in designer, metal frames and there were white leather couches spread around along with a few showpieces. 

The uniformity of the interior is only interrupted by the vast array of paintings around you.  There were paintings scattered all across the walls, some hung higher than the others,. You try to see if there is a pattern or not as you pass a few by and look closer, but quickly give up when you realise they are pieces of modern art.

Yep, too dumb for that. 

You let that train of thought go as you force yourself to stop suddenly to avoid smashing headfirst into your best friends back. Looking ahead, you realise that you are now standing in front of an elevator. You clench your jaw to prevent it from unhinging to the ground and instead glance at Sunmi, to see if she is as gobsmacked as you are.

Your best friend, apparently somewhere on the way had taken her cellphone out and was now aggressively hitting the screen as she tries to text back with one hand, the other one still firmly locked with yours. 

Apparently not then. 

Your jaw still clenched, you look up to see the capsule-like glass-walled lift come down to your floor. It stops with a soft 'ding', and you follow behind Seokjin, for once tugging Sunmi instead of the other way around.

It's when you are inside the lift ascending to some floor above, that you realise your predicament. Sandwiched between Seokjin on one side and Sunmi on the other, you try not to fidget as you feel your stepbrothers shoulder brush with yours, as he leans back against the wall beside you. The lift is spacious, and you don’t understand why you all are standing so close, but you don’t say anything or move.

Trying your best to not seem rude, you just bite your lips and look down at your feet, rocking back on your heels, as you tug the lace of one of your converse with the other. 

The ride up is quiet with only the low, generic elevator music ringing in the background. 

'This is awkward, should I say something? I should probably say something.' 

That's when you realise that you hadn't introduced yourself, nor said a single coherent word since Seokjin had opened the door for you. 

The thought sends you tumbling down another self-induced shame spiral. 

As if that wasn't bad enough, you think back to just what, he had heard when he had opened the door, and you decide maybe not saying anything would be a wiser course of action. Least you open your mouth and embarrass yourself further. 

Realising the potential harm of using your vocal cords, you stay quiet and instead take the time to really look at your eldest stepbrother. Or is it just brother now?

Would it be rude if I referred to them as my stepbrothers? Is the thought that your mind brings forward and you bite your lip as you think of how you should proceed ahead. 

As you look at your brother from the corner of your eyes, your breath hitches when you realise just how good looking he is. The picture that your father had shown you clearly did not do him justice. 

His luscious, black hair, is gelled back to keep it off his forehead and his ridiculously thick eyelashes are long and slightly curled at the end, framing his almond-like eyes.

As your gaze trails down his side profile, you gulp when you realise that while he looks like a classic movie-star with his thick, high arched eyebrows, you probably look like a haggard, homeless woman in contrast.

The thought doesn't quite sit well with you, and you let out a quiet huff in annoyance. 

Apparently, you huff wasn't as quiet though because not a second later, you feel Seokjin nudge your side and your gaze snaps up to look at him—his brows raised and a look of concern plastered over his face. 

Your lips part, as you think to reply but when no words come out, you snap them shut, pulling on a tight smile instead and just shake your head to assure him that you are fine. 

The unconvinced, concerned look on his face stays, but thankfully he doesn't pry and leaves you to your own devices, with a soft reassuring, squeeze to your hand. 

You, however, because are socially awkward and love to embarrass yourself, proceed to let out a yelp as you flinch away from his touch and crash into Sunmi's side.

"Jesus ouch! Y/N are you okay? Did you see a spider or something?" Sunmi asks concerned, as she slips her phone back into her pocket and pulls you to her side, wrapping an arm around your waist. Beyond mortified, you just shake your head and curl yourself around her body, seeking the familiar warmth and comfort of your best friend. 

You don’t turn to look what the expression on Seokjins’ face is.

'This day couldn't get any worse.' You think now utterly embarrassed and push your head into the side of Sunmi's neck, and hope that the world crashes so that you don't have to look into your stepbrother's eyes again.

'He probably thinks you're a psycho.' Your brain adds, and you internally groan and snuggle into your best friend more, the increasingly familiar blush overtaking your face again. 

Earlier, you think you might have jinxed yourself. Because no sooner, had the doors of the lift opened, and you had stepped out, that you tripped and fell face-first onto the floor. 

Smooth.

Thankfully the floor was covered with a soft plush carpet, and soon your best friend was by your side, her concerned voice ringing in your ears, which was then followed by Seokjins’ as his crouched figure comes into your peripheral vision. 

You would be more embarrassed, but you are pretty sure he already thinks you are deranged, so you just take this one in stride and raise your face to look up and reassure them both that you are alright. 

However, the scene that greets your eyes is a little different. 

Standing there in front of your fallen form, faces ranging from curious to concerned are six more men. 

Six more men that you realise, are the rest of your stepbrothers.

The realisation hits you like a bucket full of ice water being poured down your back, and you hold back a frustrated scream, as the absolute ridiculousness of the day catches up with you. 

But instead of shrieking, you just groan and let your raised face fall back onto the carpet.

Carpet fur in your mouth and mushed against your face, you realise that no, your day could and just did get a lot worse. 

A/N: ETMY is still my priority, but I write wayy too much angst so here’s a light hearted, fluffy, crack fic to balance my masterlist. Lemme know your thoughts, and remember the final pairing will be decided by you, there won’t be any vote but I’ll keep a track of who is being favoured. OT7 can also be the future pairing, if you guys so choose.

Thanks for reading and have a pleasant day ahead!

[blossom-hwa]

kevin moon x pastry chef au

beautiful gorgeous love me some kevin moon shit on his date of birth all right here we go yes I'm a little unhinged tonight but nothing some good old blathering can’t fix right

all right so kevin started baking when he was like five and who knows why his parents let him in the kitchen i definitely don’t but it somehow worked out?? bc by age ten he could bake p well and his parents were like ‘we get free pastries in exchange for sometimes cleaning up his burns and occasional messes so we’re not complaining’ and even though they’re both sometimes like ‘KEVIN MOON YOU ARE THE REASON WE ARE GAINING WEIGHT’ no one really cares it’s all in good fun and kevin loves loves LOVES bringing people joy with sweet foods and sugar so :) he goes to school and gets a degree in culinary arts + business management and opens up his own little bakery. it’s v cute and v pretty and honestly anyone who walks by can’t help but at least look in through the windows bc the scene is so cheerful and warm and kevin will sometimes look outside and smile at whoever’s staring in and yeah let’s just say his smile attracts very many customers

meanwhile you are the only reason kevin didn’t fail all the stupid math courses in his business degree, like kevin professes his admiration for your ability to understand numbers on a semi-regular basis (aka every day. fellow baker jacob is sick of it but also too polite to say anything) and like?? it’s embarrassing but again you’re not going to complain bc it means whenever you visit the bakery on your way to work or during your lunch break you get free pastries + if you have a work function or something, kevin will always sell you cupcakes or brownies or cheesecake or fucking whatever at a discounted price and your entire workplace is in love with deadass in love with you like younghoon once proposed marriage just so he could get discounted chocolate bread and you’re p sure the only reason your boss sangyeon put an end to that was bc he half wanted to say it too

anyway

one day it’s raining and the bus stop is too far away for you to run to from work so you duck into the bakery and you’re soaking wet and shivering and kevin is in the middle of pulling a pan of brownies out of the oven when you come in and he just. drops the tray on the nearest flat surface (which happens to be jacob’s hands, after this jacob reminds him very loudly that he’s lucky he was wearing mitts or there would’ve been some serious fucking burns) and rounds the counter to be like what the FUCK y/n did you not bring an umbrella??? and you’re just like /sneeze/ bitch i forgot sue me and kevin just puts his own sweater around you and brings you a hot cup of tea or coffee or whatever the hell you like to drink and he gives you a ride home in his shitty little car and when you come in the next day smiling and wearing his sweater kevin is like oh. oh fuck i think i might be in love

lucky for the observers he says that out loud and the entire bakery is like :0 because the handsome baker just confessed to you and the grandmothers who come in for a treat are telling you to go for it and the little trio of teenage girls who definitely have a crush on kevin are watching in dismay there’s also a businessman who’s kind of impatient bc he only stopped by to get a treat for some of his workers because one of them’s been having a rough week at home and jacob is just paused in the entryway with a tray of cupcakes in his hands and EVERYONE is watching and waiting and you just. smile really wide bc this is everything you’ve dreamed of (minus the kind of public embarrassment) and it ends with kevin giving you a box of cookies because “i can’t confess to you without a present ok that’s not how things work” and jacob is making gagging sounds in the back and the businessman is like this is not how i expected my morning to go but it’s cute ig and the grandmothers are squealing and the girls are low-key glaring at you but they also have to grudgingly admit it’s rlly cute and over time they end up being some of your biggest shippers

you try to give kevin back his sweater but he says to keep it bc it looks better on you

younghoon fake cries over how you’re taken now so he’ll never have a chance at discount chocolate bread

kevin gives you even more free pastries every time you come in (so many that you can’t eat them all) and in the end you both start up a thing where you bring the leftovers to homeless shelters or give them away at events and yeah idk where this is going but you two are that v wholesome v sweet couple who are sometimes overly sweet and cliche but no one can help but coo over the two of you

that’s how it goes

[wachtelspinat]

Oh hey, a very good question here...

“Anonym hat gesagt: have you ever considered filing off the serial numbers and turning your mc humansonas into personal ocs? they seem like a pretty fun and interesting bunch all on their own!”

... and I have no idea how to answer it.

This is extremely hard to answer somehow..................... or maybe not...

The thing is the entire idea makes me feel unsure on so many levels. I know that my way of depicting the MC was different from the very beginning and has changed quite a lot over the years, I’m EXTREMELY thankful that people dig the things that I draw! I really am, this gives me so much life! And I have never drawn more for any fandom / obsession than for the MC... my files count way over 200 pieces in the midnight mobster category and, to be honest, it’s really cool to see what happened over the years by just looking at that pile of stupid drawings... 

There are a lot of people out there who don’t know who they are when they see my art and it’s nice to see that they dig it for what it’s it nonetheless, but other folks will always recognize them and I like that! I love reading fanfictions, I love seeing fanart, I love the whole context. I mean I’m sorry to admit it but I never fully read Homestuck (something I save for my time in retirement home), it was just too much at some point and I realized very soon that I was actually only interested in the Intermission and everything surrounding it. But all the things that came with it, the music, the amazing artists, the wonderful AUs we created in that tiny corner that was and is the Intermission fandom..... These things made such a big impression on me and I live for the fact that the four lads are a part of it and are interwoven into this whole package.

The thing is... you are not the first person to say this to me, you know, and to be honest, over the years, from time to time, I thought of altering them just enough to unhinge them from this context. But... it wouldn’t be the same. I would still see that angry tiny asshole as Slick, I would still think about them roughing up The Felt, being horrible dads but trying so hard nonetheless and the list goes on... I am WAY too uncreative to take them and put them into my own story. And to be honest? I don’t really want to. My everyday life is stressful as f and I just want to come home and draw stabdads and mobsters... 

One thing that irks me immensely though is the matter of selling my art, prints and postcards and such. I know that Hussie’s not cool with people offering merch at online shops and conventions, but I really don’t know how much my art falls within the radar of said merch...? So yeah I would really love to hear opinions on that. (Lots of folks have asked me over the years and I always had to disappoint them, I would never ever gonna get rich with this shit anyway, but it would be nice for those who’d like some gangsters on their walls) 

Which brings me to another point: they’re already somebody else’s characters. And I don’t know, but I think it’s kinda odd and disrespectful to take their traits and everything, turn their hard shells into skin and hair and then call them my OCs : (

So...  Regarding the personal OCs question: They DO feel very close to my heart. Heck, they have a front row seat for life in my effin’ heart. This sounds very sappy... but yes, they are more to me than just humanizations of some Homestuck characters.  ... and this is hardly understated since I’ve never loved a fictional character more than this angry little man. Never ever. My brain releases so much dopamine whenever I think of him it’s unreal... 

... But everything that makes me love him that bad is based on work of other fans, including me.

Nevertheless they are what they are, and I guess if I wanna have my own OCs then I should sit down and start something new. But yeah, the statement stands: They are definitely more to me than just a bunch of HS characters.

__________________________________________________________

Anonym hat gesagt: I love your art style so much! Do you do commissions? (Sorry if i missed it if you already said it somewhere) 

Hey! Thank you so much! I’m really sorry to tell you though that I don’t do commissions : C idk but as soon as there is money and high expectations involved my mind shuts down on me and I stop drawing altogether.. I did a few for a friend in the past but I let him down horribly, always delaying the final product and such... In the end it’s just stressful to the max for me and unfair for the other party involved : (  

Anonym hat gesagt: So like, sniperspy is basically a kismesissitude. Thoughts?

HHMmmmmmmmmm  I’d say it depends on how you see their relationship? Like there are many approaches on how these two would even function, and I personally love the ones where they turn from enemies to something like soulmates and soulmates don’t hate each other.    

[zed-air]

On the Road: 2018 Toronto

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Wagons east! First stop: Toronto.

Visited in: 2004, 2006, 2010, 2018.

Click the “keep reading” link below for blog, photos, and more.

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TRAVEL / ARRIVAL /  LODGING

The flight was the shortest one I’ve taken in years, and not too bad. I spent it reading Kitchen Confidential - a book I’ve wanted to read for years. (Why not start things off in a positive way.) We flew into Pearson Airport, arriving in the mid-afternoon local time. Traditionally, I hate this airport, and their security people tend to hate me. No issues this time around. We took the (new?) train from the airport to Union Station in downtown Toronto. The trip was convenient and comfortable. Once arrived, we walked up to Queen Street for a quick meal before tracking down our Air B&B via streetcar. No issues to speak of. 

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We stayed in a basement suite of an old house, which was well suited to our needs. The suite, though oddly configured, didn’t interfere with or complicate our stay. Good location; good amenities; somewhere we’d gladly stay again if the price doesn’t skyrocket. 

QUEEN STREET / ORIENTATION

My wife and I last visited Toronto in 2010 on the return-end of our honeymoon, again to visit family and to see the first screening of an animated film I’d soundtracked. 2010 was probably my worst experience in the city, and one of many reasons why it took us eight years to return. But, even with such long gaps between visits, it’s refreshing and hopeful that my seemingly-failing memory has as much capacity for orientation as it does for useless trivia. Especially while on Queen Street (either end), I usually knew more-or-less where I was at all times. Various landmarks I’d seen on earlier trips were in the correct spots - those that haven’t moved, anyway....

Sadly, one of my favourite local landmarks is gone now - first a mysterious and abandoned-looking sign with no clues, just ‘CZEHOSKI’, but a few years later a restaurant occupied the space under the same sign. I just read that, after a decade, it closed in 2015 under dubious circumstances. 

BEST BREAKFASTS

The Eggs Benedict at Lady Marmalade were the best I’ve ever had in Toronto. Really excellent and the side of tomatoes is an ideal and underused one with Benedicts - better than the sloppy fruit assortments one typically gets. 

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Toronto has history in pork production, and bacon sandwiches are a good food item to enjoy here. I only got to sample one variety, but Rashers’ Hogtown Sandwich (fried egg, peameal bacon, grain mustard) was excellent.

BEST DINNERS 

Cote de Boeuf was a last-minute substitute when our initial dinner plans for Portuguese food failed. Cote de Boeuf was very full, but open late. We opted to stand outside for 30 mins waiting for a table rather than finding somewhere else, but it worked out alright. Thank goodness their front window is filled with raw meat.  They cook a good steak au poivre, and make the best Old Fashioned I had in Toronto. Ridiculously tiny table, though. 

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Pizzeria Libretto makes good Neapolitan-style thin-crust pizzas, and the prosciutto and arugula pizza I had here was outstanding. Very much like Famoso’s on a good day, but with different varieties. 

OTHER MEALS AND ALMOST MEALS

Shortly after exiting Union Station upon our arrival, we wandered in the direction of our streetcar stop, and ate at the first place where there seemed adequate clearance for ourselves and our luggage. That place was Bannock. The servers were friendly and attentive, and the others really enjoyed their mac & cheese and ribs. We also had very good bannock bread in various preparations with dip as a starter. I ordered the poutine, which started out ok but the small bowl quickly became this dense black hole of heavy food that sat like a rock. A crisp local lager helped move things along. 

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I met a family friend for lunch at Rodney’s Oyster House and had raw oysters and smoked fish. The prairies aren’t really an ideal place to eat raw oysters, so I figured I’d have better luck eating them nearer to water and served by specialists. The oysters were good, the smoked fish a bit underwhelming, and the visit overdue. 

Kalyvia on Danforth made us a half-disappointing Greek meal. We love Greek food, but it seemed the heat and/or the food was stacked against us. Most of my family had unhappy tummies after this meal. My lamb shanks were disappointing (stick with Souvlaki, moron...), but the appetizers were enjoyable and flavourful. 

Hollandaise Diner is a favourite of the Toronto-branch of the family. Went there for breakfast one morning, but even though I had maximum customizability there, and made something nearly identical to what was had at Lady Marmalade, I didn’t really enjoy the results. Weak flavours. I’m guessing it was an off-day for their kitchen.  

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Remarkable Bean makes a dependable cup of coffee, according to the missus. 

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Sadly, we didn’t get a chance to eat at the terrifically-named Reliable Fish & Chips (est. 1930).

THE LONG WALK

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After my lunch of oysters, I had the afternoon to myself to explore town. Historically, when I travel I walk everywhere I can, and it helps me learn the place. This walk ended up being far longer, and far less fruitful than I’d hoped. Part of the problem was I’d really underestimated the distance between two stops. 

I have good memories of an instrument shop in Toronto called Capsule Music, and they used to be located near Trinity Bellwoods Park on Queen Street West. Since my last visit, they’ve moved to a different location north west of the old one. Meanwhile, a different shop, Shyboy & Tex Repair Co., appeared to open on the same block, leading me to think they’d taken over the same address. Well, I walked up and down that block and saw no sign of anything resembling an instrument shop, despite Google Maps telling me it was there. Giving up on Shyboy, I decided to walk to Capsule’s new address. This resulted in walking for several unsure kilometres along the edge of Little Italy through various unremarkable residential areas. Due to poor/nonexistent signage, I ended up walking past Capsule by a few blocks before turning back at Dupont Street. This oversight cost me precious time. When I did manage to find Capsule Music, it was two minutes before they closed for the day. The staff seemed annoyed (understandably) that some weird sweaty guy walked in as they were closing (to be fair, their open sign was still on...), but I said hello, looked around, and wished them well. Then, when exiting, I smashed the top of my head on the cement ceiling at their doorway. Thanks to the extreme heat and my already exerted self, I’m not sure of the impact of the impact. Hurt like a bastard, though. 

Now, quite far away from anywhere, I decided to continue walking in the general direction of home. Rather than heading back directly to Queen Street and taking the next streetcar home, I kept exploring - this time walking Bloor Street eastward. This took me through Korea Town and a few other ethnic regions. Bloor is a neat stretch, and one worth exploring more extensively when rested and flush with time. Once I reached Spadina, I turned south and walked (another greater-than-expected distance) to Queen Street, and gratefully sat down in the streetcar home. 

I estimated I’d walked about 10km in total, but Google suggests it was closer to 12km, with nothing to show for it but an aching body and a lost afternoon. Oh well. 

STARSKY

I got invited on a drive just outside of town to check out the terrific Starsky - a European food/goods superstore near Mississauga. One of my favourite things to do when traveling abroad is to explore grocery stores, supermarkets, and other goods vendors to see how they differ. This place was a stupendous place to spend a day exploring products, and their deli is a wonderland unto itself. Plus, they had an impressive selection of loose-leaf teas (some of which shown below).

And hey - free haircuts! (?)

CITY ATTITUDE AND STYLE

For those outside of Canada, Toronto occupies a similar place in the national psyche as London does to the English - the major centre that all the outsider towns resent for being self-important and acting superior. The fact that Toronto also has a reputation for thinking it’s the centre of the universe (NYC Jr.) and the greatest place in Canada often contributes to this resentment. It’s always felt to me to be an insecure place. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing, depending on what one does with it.

I didn’t explore the town beyond a few neighbourhoods this time around, but it’s funny how, at least up and down Queen Street, Toronto has gone from NYC Jr. to Brooklyn Jr.. Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but certain things were surprising. It almost seems to be mandatory for people in Toronto to have tattoos now, especially the women. Most of the tattoos I saw weren’t particularly artful or well-executed. The clothes were a surprise too. It’s as though the early 90s have come back and the majority of folks are wearing ugly garments that fit badly. And the number of adults wearing shorts.... I don’t even think I own shorts. I think back on what I wore during my first visit here, and how I was criticized for it - this is worse. Of course I’m not saying this applies to everyone in the city, but it was prevalent. 

There are also a lot more people visibly dealing with homelessness, drugs, and mental illness - more than I ever remember seeing on my previous visits - regardless of time of day and in plain sight. Even when walking through the residential parts of Little Italy, an obviously mentally-ill man was walking around mid-day, unhinged, screaming at no one visible to me. I did see some kindnesses toward a few of these people, folks helping where possible, but it was surprising how much more prevalent and visible this is now compared to previous visits. Maybe I just missed it before.

CUTLER AND GROSS

A happy surprise was finding a legitimate Cutler and Gross store. I’d never before seen a place dedicated to the brand in person, but I’ve worn their glasses for a decade. It was nice to see and try on lots of different frames back to back and in different colours. My daughter enchanted the room by putting on an ocular fashion show (a real spectacle!), and the staff were kind to let her try on so many glasses. I found a few pairs I don’t mind, but none of them fit me as well as my current pair (not the ones in the photo below). Didn’t buy anything this time around - maybe I’ll get to return someday when I have benefits again.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I first visited Toronto in 2004, aged 20, and hadn’t done much long-distance traveling before that. Thinking back, apart from an unexpected family trip to Hawaii a year earlier, that was to date the farthest away I’d ever been from Edmonton, and my first trip east. I went to visit family, and to see two brilliant concerts (first Kraftwerk, then Einsturzende Neubauten). During that first trip, I was repeatedly made to feel like a hick by the people and atmosphere of the place. I’ve since traveled to much bigger, and much better cities around the world - some I’ve loved, others I’ve hated - but none of the others left me with that hick feeling which echoed and tainted my subsequent visits.

I have a complicated history with the city. I’ve had some good and bad experiences almost every time I’ve visited. Toronto’s a different vibe, and a different attitude to where I’m from. Several (too many) of my friends who moved there tended to change for the worse. Maybe living in Toronto let them feel comfortable being themselves. Most aren’t friends any longer.

That being said, 2018 was my most-enjoyable visit to Toronto to date, and I left better inclined toward the town. It’s still not my favourite place on Earth, but it was nice to learn I can still enjoy myself there. Good food and good company always help.